Showing posts with label heartache. Show all posts
Showing posts with label heartache. Show all posts

Sunday 24 September 2017

Based On a Troubling Story


“What do I care if they are hungry?” Comrade Snezhana scoffed.  “We’ve put up with them all day long, and are taking a well-deserved break.”
Lyosha could hear whimpering down the long halls in the orphanage and it made her feel uncomfortable. She knew how little the children had to eat today, and it wasn’t any better yesterday, or last week either.
A half-hour later Comrade Roksana handed her a glass of wine to go with the expensive white chocolates that were topping off the meal but she felt too full or was it sick, to take another bite.
A toddler’s fretful whimpers were turning into lusty wails. Lyosha knew she should go comfort Klava before Comrade Snezhana strode over there and started slapping her around. But Lyosha didn’t dare. She knew she had the reputation of spoiling the ‘brats’ and didn’t have the nerve to make a scene in front of the other comrades including hardened officers who were partying with them.

I suppose you are horrified that something like this really did happen in Russia during the war. Why is it that we can sympathize with physical needs and want to do something, yet hardly hear the hidden cry of our or their hearts?
How many children, young people, and others are starving spiritually while those of us that should be helping are feasting on what the world has to offer and barely take enough spiritual manna to keep our own souls alive?
When’s the last time we have had a truly satisfying hour of studying the Bible? When is the last time we fasted, not to be seen of men, but because we had such a deep longing to pray, that food or earthly pleasures just didn’t seem important? I fall so far short but pray that I can do better!

Friday 8 July 2016

Let Him Hold You

Someone is trudging through a valley. Someone is carrying burdens heavier than you or I have ever carried, or maybe that someone is you. I prayed and prayed that I could write an article that would touch and comfort your heart but feel so inadequate.

The cry of my heart is: ‘Let my heart be broken by the things that break your heart, oh, God. Let’s me make a difference, let me bear the pain, give me Lord a caring heart.’ Those are words of my favorite song, but I have no idea who wrote them.  Maybe Bob Pierce?

You are suffering: maybe you have been imprisoned wrongfully and are beaten or subjected to solitary confinement or other cruelties. Maybe you are dying—I hate to write this word—of cancer and feel far too young to die. Maybe all your life you have endured shame and abuse and it feels like there is no way out.

What can I offer you? Reach out to the hand of Jesus if you haven’t already.  I have found him to be my greatest Comforter in the deepest of valleys.

Let go and rest in Him: let Him fill your being as you give yourself in full unconditional surrender to whatever you are facing. Don’t resist the cross you have to carry; it truly is a blessing in disguise.

Before I was healed I seemed to have sweeter communion with my Maker and now I have to struggle along like ‘normal’ people do. J

But, maybe on top of everything else you are facing persecution or some other form of abuse. I discovered a verse this morning that hopefully will be a blessing to you. ‘Show me a token for good; that they which hate me may see it, and be ashamed: because thou Lord, has helped and comforted me.’ Psalms 86:17 Perhaps,  your sweet, Christ-like spirit will touch someone’s heart. Who knows?

Possibly you are closer to Heaven than the rest of us, or perhaps not. Don’t fear or resist the thought of ‘going through the veil’. If or when you do you are actually luckier than the others because you can meet Jesus, our Beloved Comforter, face to face, and your troubles, heartache and suffering will fall away like a garment.


Let Him Hold You!

Wednesday 9 March 2016

Better Than a Fairy Tale? Not Yet

A continuation of my spiritual journey.
Thank you Google Images for the wonderful snapshots.
So what happened next? There were many things of course, but what is really important? Eventually Mom and Dad separated and Dad took some of us younger ones to a runty little shack he built himself and we were supposed to start school in a new, far distant area. I was appointed, or rather accepted the job of head cook and clothes washer. With wood heating, which I wasn’t familiar with and inexperience combined, well, let’s just say it was a new experience for me.
I was introduced to a new ‘religion’ also. I wasn’t used to his new way of worshipping which included speaking in tongues that reached a higher and higher crescendo and numerous people walking in and out of the building during services and it made me fearful.
I did a lot of searching and praying during this time. It is still precious to me how God illuminated the Word for a sincere young teenager. I can still clearly remember how various Scriptures came to life for me and I knew He was giving me direction.
While I was holed up with my younger siblings in that out of the way homemade ‘trailer’ I got really sick with Hepatitis which must have lasted at least three weeks. Not a fun time, too be sure, but there was not only a silver lining in the clouds after this happened, but better than that it was like a rainbow in my memory.
It was the fall of the year so the leaves were turning color. One afternoon while I was still weak, but slowly getting better, I went for a walk in the woods and they were graced with natural autumn beauty. This meandering stroll was a time of communing with God. I felt him so close amidst His creation that later I wrote a rather long essay about it. Had I found ‘heaven’ at last? No, but it was another oasis of peace in a troubled lifestyle. I treasure to this day those little touches from God that kept me going.
Mom had found her way back to ‘her own people’ and their quiet, peaceful, loving ways were a drawing to me. I had a cousin my age who reached out to me but when Dad intercepted one of my responses to her there were dire consequences.
S. Please check out my book. (Link below.) If you want to escape from a troubled past and hope for a better future, this may be the most comforting book you will ever read, 


Tuesday 8 March 2016

Better Than a Fairy Tale? Well Not Yet

Okay, I promised to tell more of my life-story so here goes.
So here I was just a young teenager with my heart torn and bleeding. I didn’t know it at the time, but that impassive indifference between me and the pastor of the church we had always attended had started a rift.
Things didn’t get better, right away, they worsened. Soon I was facing the worse day of my life, and that is not a trite statement! I still think it probably was, and it became a pivotal point in my journey. Dad asked, no, rather expected me to go along with him on one of his numerous electrical trips to far flung communities. I had gone along before with a certain amount of trepidation because of what he had attempted to do to me in the past. (Ya, and had done when I was younger.)
So here I was in some little farmhouse in the middle of Who-Knows-Where and I walked into the pale, non-descript kitchen, and stopped. They are talking about me. I froze. Dad was talking about giving me away, abandoning me like an unwanted kitten or puppy. Oh, sure, it was called fostering, but I didn’t think of it that way. I just knew he wanted to tear me away from the only family I knew and loved.
I don’t remember how I arrived there, but suddenly found myself in the woods across the graveled road with tall, very tall fir trees surrounding me. To say I bawled my eyes out isn’t trite, either. Don’t know how long I stayed there, but common sense told me I had to go back eventually, so I did. No one had missed me.
I wandered around, looking into the spare bedroom, etc. and wondered if this would be my new home.
Time was moving along so I looked in on ‘them’ in the kitchen. They were still talking, but I got the drift of it, the farm wife didn’t think it would be a good idea to take me in. I didn’t linger to hear more.
The news was too little, and too late. The damage was done. I went to the car and sooner or later Dad joined me. We drove off leaving my innocent childhood behind.

 P.S. Please check out my book. (Link below.) If you want to escape from a troubled past and hope for a better future, this may be the most comforting book you will ever read, 

Monday 7 March 2016

Better Than a Fairy Tale


Do you want to hear a story that is so marvelous that you’ll think I made it up? I know for a fact that it is true ‘cuz it happened to me over forty years ago and the results ripple right down to the present.

Okay, where shall I start? Guess what, I have something in common with a lot of you. I come from a broken home. I know the anguish of seeing a marriage torn apart right in front of my eyes and feeling the effects in my own soul because it was my Mom and Dad.

Ours was one of those old-fashioned homes where you didn’t tell others what was going on behind closed doors: gotta put on a good front, y’know. So what was the result? Pain and heartache and groping in despair.

But I did reach out: I was not as reserved as some of my siblings so talked to our pastor, or at least tried too. He listened impassively, or so it seemed. I got more desperate: our home was falling apart right in front of my eyes, Mom and Dad didn’t love one another anymore, and I and my hapless brothers and sisters were caught in the vortex.

So I did what only a writer would do, I put my heartache in words, in poem form actually, and gave it to him when I had the opportunity. What did he do? He gave it back and said: “that’s very nice.” Did it help? Nope. (Wish I still had that poem.)

I see that this is going to end up being a whole lot longer than I had expected, but I promise you it does have a happy ending. What a trite word. Come on give me a better one, joyous, blessed, comforting,-- gratifying? No one word seems to describe what I went, and am going through.

But I know you have places to go, and things to do, so stay tuned until tomorrow, and yes, I’ll keep writing while you face your day.


 P.S. Please check out my book. (Link below.) If you want to escape from a troubled past and hope for a better future, this may be the most comforting book you will ever read, 

https://www.createspace.com/4837922

Tuesday 30 December 2014

So This Is Me...


I live and breathe writing, but not just any kind. Penetrating the darkness seems to be a pet theme, or phrase with me. This world is so full of shadows that come in many different shapes and forms. You know what the chains that want to tighten you are, whether they are poverty, fear, pain, heartache in its many kinds, or something else. I have given my life to bringing a ray of light into this dark and hurting world.
Another thought I like is this description of a glowing candle.  It is warm and beckoning with just enough of a glow to be deeply appreciated, but not so much that you feel unhappy with the glare or the heat.
Come in and help yourself to a candle and let's walk together towards Jesus who is the Light of the world.

Lovingly, Marilyn


P.S. I’m not a very conspicuous person: auburn haired, round faced, smiley with gentle eyes and what you might call an old fashioned grandmotherly look.  Because we like people so much we have a bed and breakfast. If you want to visit us you can find it under the listings for air bnb (bed and breakfast) Alberta.