My Heart Belongs Elsewhere

Continued from yesterday;

The gracious lady in the dark outfit, the air stewardess, Alice guessed she was called, was by her side now. Alice looked up with tear blurred eyes.

“May I help you with anything?”

Alice numbly shook her head, but her lower lip trembled.

The air stewardess paused for a moment. 

“Perhaps you are concerned about the weather,” she stooped a little lower so that only Alice could hear. 

“The pilot has detected a break in the clouds which seems to be widening. Soon we will begin to descend. Would you like me to bring you a snack? Some cookies, perhaps?

“Bitte, bitte, sehr,” If you please! Alice responded

 Alice responded, dutifully, and then her heart sank. Even her response was in Mundart. She was so died in the wool Swiss that even her words betrayed her. But I am a Harrison! In my heart I am all Harrison. I wish I could fling my arms around all my true brothers and sisters one more time! Nicholas, I miss you so! I miss your chubby arms and innocent smiles. Heidi, I long to get to know you better! You were so sweet and shy! Conrad, you, to were so lovable, and yes I will miss you, to, Eric! Maybe a lot! 

Alice tried hard to suppress thoughts about her parents and her identical twin Emily because she knew if she couldn't she would start to sob uncontrollably. Never had she realized how strong, how impossibly strong a bond would be forged with her identical twin in a few short weeks. And they had thought they were close, before!
The tall, slender flight attendant returned with two cookies in a small paper bag.
“Danke,” Alice mumbled avoiding her eyes. She nibbled slowly at one of the cookies. It was dry. So different from the fresh-from-the-oven ones she had arranged on a bright tea towel just two days before.
 The future looked bleak, far bleaker than the clouds that surrounded them. Why, why, why did I ever take the flight back? But could I have refused? It would have broken Mum—Margaret’s-- heart, and brought shame on the family. How could they have lifted up their head among their neighbours? And could I have adjusted to living in a Mennonite farming community? It seems so simple from my viewpoint, but eventually everyone would be used to me being there; the novelty would have worn off, but I wouldn't really fit in because my background was so totally different from theirs. Oh, what a mess I am in. Alice wished she could shut off these thoughts. They had gone round and round in her mind for hours already, even before the plane had lifted off from Canadian soil. It feels like I don’t have anything to look forward to, any more. My heart belongs in Deer Flats.



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