You Always Thought You Were Better Than I!



Lawley’s entire body language denoted despair. All his life he had enjoyed caring for his fine flock of sheep. Everyone of them was were precious; so very precious. Every single one, from the ornery old ram to the helpless bundle of innocence he was now cradling in his arms. Each one had it’s own personality, and he loved them all. Dearly. But the Lord God wanted him to give one, his purest and his best for a sacrifice. A sacrifice! Kill one of his pets? Lay him on an altar and burn it? Burn it for all to see? He was all choked up inside, but felt he understood. Well sort of, and that’s partly why it hurt so horribly.

He had been severed from the Father. His sin had caused the separation. Oh yeah, sure, he knew that his older brother, Kane blamed it on the folks when they weren’t listening, but Lawley knew that wasn’t true. Not completely, at least. And the Lord God required an atonement. Somehow the shedding of blood was to represent the cleansing of their sins. He wanted to be cleansed. He yearned to be in full fellowship with the Father. Just like Mom and Dad did. And if it meant the shedding of blood. The blood of one of his own precious lambs, so be it.

He put the lamb down and stroked it. Those beautiful brown eyes, so innocent looking, wrenched at his heart. And yet he knew, it was more than a gut instinct, he knew when the knife was laid against the neck to draw out the blood, the lamb would not protest.

Maybe it is a foretaste of a far greater Sacrifice the Father will give. Maybe he wants us to realize how difficult that will be for Him, so that we will value it more. The thought was so foreign it barely had time to materialize before it faded away.

“Well, Lawley, ole man, what are you bawling about now.”

Lawley-Shaint felt the heat crawl up his neck and turned to hide his tender emotions.

“Are you contemplating killing one of your sheep?” Kane exclaimed!

“Did you take that message from the Father that seriously? I don’t think it has to be a blood sacrifice! Fruit of the land is good enough for me.”

Lawley looked at him levelly. “It’s supposed to be a blood sacrifice.”

Kane shrugged his shoulders. “Oh, well, then I’ll kill a deer, or maybe a wolf!” He mocked derisively.

“I hope the Lord God doesn’t smite you down for your disrespectful attitude.” Lawley sounded so serious that Kane stared at him for an instant they strode away.

Quite sometime later he rose from tilling the soil and sniffed the air. What was that sweet fragrance? He saw a small, thin column of smoke spiralling up towards the heavens. What a beautiful sight. He was sure his parents, who lived on the other side of the valley were also preparing their evening sacrifices. Yeah, and most of his brothers and sisters, to.

He strode over to his few scrawny sheep and with his hands on his hips, surveyed them one by one. He never did care for raising sheep, but kept a few anyway just for the wool, and a meal now and then. No, I’m not gonna sacrifice one of those beast. I need them for profit. Whereas I have plenty of veggies. They are far prettier anyways. I’ll wash ‘em up good. The best that is, and pile them attractively on the altar. I’m sure that will be good enough.

He glanced over at Lawley’s altar with a twinge of guilt. Yeah, the message had been plenty clear. Hadn’t the Father said; it was the blood that cleansed us from all sin? Even he had heard the voice. For once.

Soon Kane had his fire going. He had taken plenty of care to lay just the right amount of dry wood and kindling on top of the pile of stones before creating his centerpiece of fruits and vegetables. They should roast beautifully. The Lord God would be most delighted.

Something was wrong. The smoke, which was black and ugly, was going every which was instead of spiralling upwards. And the stench was horrific.

His smouldering, ever present anger leaped into flames and he strode over to Lawley-Shaint who was kneeling beside his altar. There was a look of frank adoration on his upturned face.

Kane grabbed him by the shoulders and jerked him to his feet.

“You cursed my offering!” he accused.

A look of honest bewilderment crossed Lawley’s face.

“Cursed? Your offering? Why would I ever do that?”

“Don’t try to fake innocence with me!” He shook him hard. “You always thought you were better than me.”

“ Don’t be angry, brother. I made a sacrifice because I knew I was a sinner--”

Kane slapped him hard with his big, brawny hand.

Lawley staggered to his knees. Kane yanked him up with one hand.

“Fight me like a man,” he roared. “I’m tired of you pussy-footing around pretending to be so perfect!”

“But I am only trying to do what’s right, I--”

He had meant to say I am no better than you but found it hard to breathe. Kane had his hands clasped around his neck.