I Can't Die! I Won't Die!

I hope you have the time or will take the time to read this to the very end because it has a surprise ending.  I do not know the name of the main character in this true story, so for simplicity sake will call her Melissa. Melissa was like many of us in that she went to church and enjoyed the social and spiritual aspects of it, but she didn't think the Bible needed to be taken literally when it spoke of being separate from the world in word and action.  1John 2: 15-17,  Romans 12:2. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/She would occasionally make fun of more conservative Christians and went on her merry way. Although she endured a slow and lingering death, cancer perhaps, she rejoiced in the assurance of being swept up to Heaven immediately after departing this life.

Now I will quote directly from this ancient book Dying Testimonies of Saved and Unsaved: https://www.amazon.com/Dying-Testimonies-Saved-Unsaved-Shaw/dp/1933304324
"respiration grew shorter and shorter and at last ceased and they deemed the spirit already in the embrace of blissful messengers who were winging it to paradise. A fearful shriek! and in a moment they beheld her that they had looked upon as the departed sitting upright before them with every feature distorted.
"Horror and disappointment had transformed that placid countenance so that it exhibited an expression indescribable fiendish. "I can't die," she shrieked, "I won't die!"

Her pastor walked in just then and she screamed, "Out of the door, thou deceiver of men!"
Then died.
Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord shall enter into the kingdom of heaven, but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in Heaven. Matthew 7:21https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/

Let Him Hold You

Someone is trudging through a valley. Someone is carrying burdens heavier than you or I have ever carried, or maybe that someone is you. I prayed and prayed that I could write an article that would touch and comfort your heart but feel so inadequate.

The cry of my heart is: ‘Let my heart be broken by the things that break your heart, oh, God. Let’s me make a difference, let me bear the pain, give me Lord a caring heart.’ Those are words of my favorite song, but I have no idea who wrote them.  Maybe Bob Pierce?

You are suffering: maybe you have been imprisoned wrongfully and are beaten or subjected to solitary confinement or other cruelties. Maybe you are dying—I hate to write this word—of cancer and feel far too young to die. Maybe all your life you have endured shame and abuse and it feels like there is no way out.

What can I offer you? Reach out to the hand of Jesus if you haven’t already.  I have found him to be my greatest Comforter in the deepest of valleys.

Let go and rest in Him: let Him fill your being as you give yourself in full unconditional surrender to whatever you are facing. Don’t resist the cross you have to carry; it truly is a blessing in disguise.

Before I was healed I seemed to have sweeter communion with my Maker and now I have to struggle along like ‘normal’ people do. J

But, maybe on top of everything else you are facing persecution or some other form of abuse. I discovered a verse this morning that hopefully will be a blessing to you. ‘Show me a token for good; that they which hate me may see it, and be ashamed: because thou Lord, has helped and comforted me.’ Psalms 86:17 Perhaps,  your sweet, Christ-like spirit will touch someone’s heart. Who knows?

Possibly you are closer to Heaven than the rest of us, or perhaps not. Don’t fear or resist the thought of ‘going through the veil’. If or when you do you are actually luckier than the others because you can meet Jesus, our Beloved Comforter, face to face, and your troubles, heartache and suffering will fall away like a garment.

Let Him Hold You!

Mary's Broken Heart

Excerpt from my book: Mary's Diary, the Life of Jesus through His Mother's Eyes

Dear Diary;

I am so distressed! There is something in the air! I can feel it! The

animosity towards Yeshua is as thick as an ominous cloud. I know the

religious rulers are planning evil against Him. I know He is not safe

here. Oh, Yeshua, Yeshua, I wish You hadn’t come. I wish You would

flee like a bird to the mountains! I wish that HaShem, God would somehow

hide You like He did when they wanted to cast you off the embankment

in Nazareth! I fear for You! I’m so afraid the Great I AM will not save

you, this time.

Oh, El’Elohim, have mercy, please, please have mercy on my Son.

231

Eventide

Of the same day

Dear Diary;

Yeshua and His talmidim, disciples went to a friend’s place to celebrate the

Passover. I would have given all that I have to have been there with Him.

I spend much time on the rooftop gazing at the darkening sky, my

hands clasped in prayer. I think I saw Him leave John Mark’s house

and head for the Olive Orchard. Oh I wish He would stay where it is

safe . . . a little safer, at least.

Later, much later; I saw soldiers with torches heading that way.

It can mean no good. Oh, that my eyes could see in the dark and

penetrate through trees, so I could know what was going on. Someone

tell me, please, what is that hubbub in the streets all about? At this

hour. Oh, what is going on? Tell me, please, tell me what is going on?

Oh, Yeshua, Yeshua! Are you safe? Is it well with You?

Dear Diary;

A man is running down the street! Would He be coming to this

house? He runs like Yochanam

(John)

! He sees me! He is calling my name! He

wants me to come! It must be because of Yeshua!

I must go!

20th Nissan

April 12th

Dear Diary;

They crucified my Son, today. I can hardly bear to sit down and

write, yet if I do, perchance there will be healing for my spirit. Nay

there cannot be healing. Nothing can heal my torn, bleeding, broken

spirit. There is no grief as insufferable as losing a tinoki in such a cruel,

heartless way. I can not go on.

The agony is too great.

232

20th Nissan

April 12th

Dear Diary;

Sleep has fled, and my head is pounding terribly so I might as well

try to put my thoughts on paper. It has always helped in the past. I shall

never be able to get those horrible scenes out of my mind. No one can

describe my suffering as I stood on the dark, wind-swept hill watching

my Son, my beautiful, dear, precious Son writhe in pain while the

lightning flashed around Him. The lightning seemed to be trying, but

never quite succeeding, to strike Him like vicious serpents! Oh, why

did they do this to Him? He was always so good, and kind, and loving.

Why did HaShem allow it?

There is one thin shaft of light that has pierced my agony. Even

while dear Yeshua hung there on the cross, He remembered how much

I would be suffering, and weakly called out to me; “Madam, behold

Thy Son!” My eyes were drawn to His eyes, and although I saw so

much concern for me in them, I also saw so much pain that I could

hardly handle it! They seemed to be saying, “I am doing this for you,

Imma, and all of the rest of God’s children, besides.”

http://www.authorsden.com/visit/author.asp?AuthorID=181889

Then his eyes turned toward John, and He said to him, “Behold

your mother.” I think He was asking His beloved disciple John to

care for me because His own brothers were still irritated or confused by

the kind of Man He had been. John has a tender heart much like

Yeshua’s own. In some way, in a soothing way, it will seem like having

Yeshua back home with me, because John will not be gone all the

time doing miracles, and drawing crowds like Yeshua did.

Oh, how could I forget . . . even for a moment! He won’t be gone . . .

gone . . . like . . . ohhhh . . .

Much later; I sank to my knees, sobbing my heart out.

John knelt beside me. He let me bury my head on his shoulder,

just like a beloved son would.